Boy did Mom and I have an experience. I had no idea when I started to emerge, the midwives at Red Hill Hospital would insist Mom wasn’t really in pain until we were in full blown labor. How do they know the extent of our pain? The nerve, honestly.
The surgeons had to cut me out of Mom’s belly because I was too big to slither out on my own. Mom’s tall, and the wuss couldn’t push out all 9 lbs, 4 ozs and 22 inches of me. How is she going to handle me when I grow up?
After my eviction Mom and I spent two whole days in a recovery ward. The midwives there, far different from the beastly lot earlier, were fantastic. Most of them were compassionate and really seemed to enjoy their job. The ladies were knowledgable and although I don’t agree with everything they recommended (one weekly bath, as if), most of the information offered was priceless.
Now we’re home and everything is swell. See me in my fine bouncey chair? It was a present from Uncle Skimpy. All you readers should be jealous.
Mom will probably write a moany entry in her blog within the next day or so. Maybe I can distract her from whinging. After all, I’m here and I’m gorgeous…. so what does she have to complain about?
Me
Today is a gorgeous day, and it’s too lovely to stay in. See my proof?
Anyway, I hope I’ll surface by at least tonight, because tomorrow’s forecast looks favorable.
Here’s a partial schedule of me meaning business:
06:55
07:00
07:03
07:07
07:09
07:13
07:23
07:24/11 seconds
07:32/14 seconds
07:37/15 seconds
Get ready, Mom!
I decided to test the waters early this morning. Around midnight I tried to escape, and made Mom contract every 10 minutes for three hours. She finally got tired of counting the contractions and went to bed, and so far there’s been no peep from me.
The dialogue held between my parents this morning made me giggle:
Dad: What time did you to go bed?
Mom: At 03:15. I was contracting quite a bit and called the hospital for instructions.
Dad: Why didn’t you wake me?!
Mom: What for? So both of us can be groggy together?
Dad: Good point.
Mothers everywhere are coming out of the woodwork and telling my Mom things she can do or foods she can eat to help lure me out. Currently Mom has a Mexican food fetish and I know I’m not getting any good Mexican food for a long time after I’m born, so I’m staying put.
Mom has been told the following:
Eat a hot curry – (mother-in-law)
Swim, drink codliver oil [as if!], have sex [ew ew ew, Mooooooom?] – (Teutonic sis-in-law)
Eat fresh pineapple and raspberry leaf tea [Midwife Chandra]
Power walk – [Dad]*
*Considering Mom is peeing every 30 minutes, power walk where exactly?
If I don’t get my act together and decide to leave, a doctor at the hospital is going to talk to Mom about personally evicting me at an appointment she has scheduled for Monday. Maybe I won’t get to call the shots indefinitely.
Stay tuned.
Today is my official due date, but I’m not budging. Some bits of the site may look strange because I’m getting my very own template. (Whoopee.)