I regularly read our own neighborhood’s forum. Many of the forum’s users often slag off Crawley’s local police force for being inept and poorly managed.
Major frustration has been surfacing recently over mini motorbikes. Kids own them, and if they can’t find private land to ride the bikes on, they become a danger to innocent people pedestrians, kitty cats and chavs by riding them in neighborhoods.
Close your eyes and imagine a motorbike that’s about as tall as Mommy’s shin with some goofy looking, slack-jawed 10-year-old boy riding on it. He’s coming straight at you going 40 mph on the pavement (sidewalk). You better get out of the way!
Mommy’s opinion on police in general is simply they have a thankless, poorly paid job. Cops who walk the beat are probably too swamped in paperwork to care about chasing a mini moto riding, slack-jawed 10-year-old boy, or a grown man with a panty on his head running away with your telly. Besides, isn’t that what contents insurance is for?
Upon reading the annual Policing West Sussex newspaper, the very back of it contained information about the local police stations. After reading Crawley police station was open 7 days a week, it dawned on me that Daddy’s barber is open 8 days a week.
I’m thinking of writing to the police to see if they’d beat the barber’s grueling schedule and stay open 9 days a week. What do you think they’ll say about that?
technorati tags: Crawley, West Sussex, police, Maidenbower, mini moto, motorbike, barber
Mommy woke up Sunday to the sound of Daddy’s cuppa tea chant. Daddy got up with me early so Mommy could sleep in, but after 9:00 a.m. he needed his cuppa. Tea tastes soooooooooo much better when someone else makes it for you.
There was only one teabag left in our tea container (shock, horror!), but crafty Mommy anticipated us running out and reached into the cupboard to get a brand spanking new box of PG Tips.
As Daddy was savoring his cuppa and reveling in his Englishness, I cut out the entry form on the back of the PG box and filled it out. Ok, so I guessed about the number of seats at the new Wembley Stadium. Surely they won’t hold that against me. If I win we’ll all get free tea for life!
technorati tags: PG Tips, tea, cuppa, teabag, English, Wembley Stadium
This post is directed to all you little English babies out there. Are you all familiar with the Ribena advert on the telly going on about how practically all British black currants make their drink?
The ad people didn’t bother to fully explain where black currants come from. They come from my Daddy’s nose.
Enjoy your drink, kiddies!
technorati tags: babies, ribena, black currants, nose, drink
When Daddy leaves work in the evening, he often calls home and asks me if there’s anything I want at the shops. That’s a signal he’s going to buy lots of beer, and I sometimes ask him to buy Mommy some plain M&Ms if I’ve been terrorizing her all day.
Daddy is always happy to buy Mommy M&Ms, because that means he can buy himself choccy and THEN sponge off Mommy’s sweeties a day later.
Mommy always eats her M&Ms by a strict regimen. On the first day she’ll eat the red and yellow ones because they’re fruity flavored.
On the second day, Daddy hovers over her like a vulture because she’ll eat the blue and green M&Ms. It’s a well known fact the blue ones taste of laytex paint and the green ones taste of bogies, so they aren’t the nicest. Predictable Daddy sticks his lower lip out and proclaims he hasn’t had any choccy for an entire day, so Mommy will flick a few bogie-flavored ones his way.
The final day is designated for the brown M&Ms, which are by far the most chocolatey. Daddy doesn’t even try to pout because Mommy will refuse eye contact as she polishes off her remaining sweeties.
Who ever thought eating sweeties could be so complicated?
technorati tags: daddy, beer, candy, chocolate
