Today we invited Mad Granny over for Easter Sunday lunch, and an hour before Mom was about to serve up the goods, Mad Granny called. She said she was running late because of the blizzard we were experiencing. BLIZZARD?
Now my Mommy doesn’t originate from a cold climate, BUT she does come from a place with hurricane weather. She’s used to cows and rednecks flying through the air and the local WalMart sign nearly ripping off completely and decapitating a bunch of snowbirds. So she’s never been in the middle of a blizzard, but she knows what’s happening outside at the moment surely isn’t anything to sniffle over.
Much of England doesn’t have climate extremes. It never seems to rain properly here (it drizzles constantly), or lightening here, or even snow here. There are no airbourne cows or chavs* floating aimlessly here, or none that our family have ever seen anyway.
As soon as Mad Granny stepped into our house, she threw off her heavy coat and dramatically exclaimed, “If the British people can survive Hitler, surely we can survive this deadly blizzard we’re having! Make me a cup of tea, will you?”
Mad Granny is waaaaaaaaaaay dramatic! She has a lot to teach me.
Meet my pal, Seth. He’s going to be four soon and during that time he has learned to appreciate the art of dressing up.
Seth’s mommy and my mommy think he’s soooooo cute and often wonder why I don’t like to dress up. I guess I figure if Seth really really really loves my witch dress, who am I to stop him from enjoying it?
Personally, I can’t wait to show these crossdressing photos of my buddy to his future girlfriends!
Today I got told off for the umpteenth time for squealing over not being able to get my way. Being quite justifiably perturbed and having your mother call you a silly goose is so annoying and patronizing.
Apparently there are people in the world who have it far worse off than me. Mommy started to tell me about a poor woman in India who had to pee reeeeeeeal bad and she squeezed so hard a baby popped out of her bottom.
So I sat on the toilet and started to grunt. I grunted and huffed and puffed and in the (my) end, no baby emerged.
I guess I’ll try again tomorrow.
Sitting in the hot sun and slurping down an ice cream cone always relaxes me enough to ponder life for a while.
Although Mom and I recycle and try to reuse whatever we can, we could do more to protect the environment.
When Mrs Ellen handed me an ice cream cone yesterday, both she and Mom laughed about the mess I was about to make. Mom mentioned the mess wasn’t a problem, as she was going to use diluted bleach and other cleaning agents to disinfect my chair that evening. So my ice cream cone = environmental disaster. 
(But it was sooooo tasty!)
Ever since yesterday I have been racking my brain on what good deed to perform to offset the effects my chair cleaning had on Mother Nature, and now I have a perfect solution. My family is going to swim across the Atlantic Ocean.
That’s right, kiddies. My family was planning on flying to the US this December, but thanks to Google Maps, I have found a better way to get there. Check out step #31. What a perfect solution!